Posts

003: Vulnerability with a Side of Inclusion

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It's been a little over a month since I last posted. A lot has happened and I've been struggling to find the right words to express the experience. I would start typing then decide what I was sharing was too personal, too vulnerable. There are sides of myself that I want the world to see but fears from past experiences keep me from letting those sides out.  I started this blog as a way to express myself and give people a little insight into my world. I realized that I find it easier to share things in writing than verbally. I'm a classic overthinker - not because I want to be but because it's what helped me survive my past. Reading rooms, analyzing expressions, analyzing body language, trying to predict if it's safe to speak or be seen. Over the years, I found that making myself invisible was easier than constantly analyzing if it was safe to be seen.  So I became really good at being invisible. I learned to say the right things, laugh at the right times, and always...
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002: Beautifully Flawed Humans

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I feel like I've had writer's block since my first post but the truth is that I've been afraid to write my second one. The first one received such great feedback that I'm worried this one won't be as good. So bear with me as I work through this.  These past couple weeks have been really interesting. I went on my first date since separating from A and it was quite the experience. I honestly didn't know what to expect but I didn't expect it to bring me clarity with a side of confidence.  The date was going to be a hike on Sunday morning. I had planned to do Murph at my gym the day before. If you're not familiar with this workout, it's quite intense and one that I do every Memorial Day. Still dealing with some injuries, the version I did this year looked a little different: I told my date that I was a bit worried about our hike since my hip might be flared up from the workout. She was so sweet and planned an easy walk, in case my hip wasn't feeling...
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001: Divorce Sucks and Other Gay Shit

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Song of the day: Get up, Get on - Jill Andrews The thing people don't tell you about divorce is how incredibly lonely it is. When my soon-to-be-ex-husband (STBX) and I separated, friends were quick to offer support - and I definitely needed it. But after a few weeks, they grew tired of my sadness. They wanted their cheerful, fun friend back. And so they slowly drifted back into their lives. The text messages stopped, the invites to hang out stopped. Everyone was suddenly too busy to hang out.  As if divorce isn't hard enough, mine came with a cherry on top - coming out to the world. My family was super supportive of my gay side but dismissed my divorce. It was all celebrations and happy times. I know not everyone's coming out story has a supportive family and I'm grateful for mine, but I didn't get the support I needed. Friends were a mixed bag, but more on that a little later. Six days after coming out and trying to  pretend I'm ok I lost 3 people the day we se...
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